Published on 19 September 2018 at 12:13

So it's almost so far, I'm leaving tonight with the car towards London. Just over six hours in the car I have to get on campus. I have been living for months now and I notice to myself that I have mixed feelings about all of this. There was no doubt that this is the study I should be doing, which really suits me, but still it seems a bit unreal. All my life I leave behind to enter a new adventure. Some say; ' O one and a half years, that's not so much ' and others ask if I don't miss my family, friends and my friend. I did not even think about it before. I was very sober. It finds its way all over again and otherwise but not, that is not even a disaster. During my coaching lectures, it has once been discussed that people can be difficult to change in their lives. This seems to be due to the potential danger of change. This will allow you to stay on the spot where you are now and continue to do what you always do, than to look for other (or perhaps better) things that you might be involved in. When you start something new there is a chance that you will fail, which is also something that would rather be out of the way. During my graduation study, in a project for early school-leaving young people, it was noticed that many young people did not dare to open their mouths because they feared that they would say something wrong or stupid. I still remember that the coach told the group that sometimes you have to make mistakes to get on. If you never try to make mistakes, you will never get to what you really want to do. 

If you want to make a change in your habits, this can cost a lot of effort. How can this be? It has been proven that we are more than eighty percent of what we do unconsciously. So you don't necessarily make conscious choices in what you want. Most of the thoughts we have had yesterday are exactly what we have today. These habits have an essential function by saving us a lot of energy. It takes energy to make decisions and by using decisions that have been made every day to move forward, the energy left over can be used in a more useful way. Many people experience resistance as they want to change something in their (daily) lives. This can be perceived as unpleasant, giving you a chance to stop performing your new actions and fall back into your old habits. So what do you really need to make a successful change and maintain it? I do not want to say that it is difficult for everyone and in every situation to try something new. In my opinion, it depends on several factors whether you will be successful in this. To what extent are you motivated to pursue what you are doing? Do you have enough knowledge and able to perform the ' task '? Are there any resources around that can support you in the transition? When we change we are vulnerable because we are stepping out of our comfort zone. Many people want to change but want to avoid this insurmountable vulnerability. This will cause you to struggle with yourself, to sabotage yourself and to remain in the place you have always been. It is often said that there is a Struggle (struggle) seems to be necessary to create something beautiful. An example of this is the pain a woman has in giving birth to a child. After she has endured the almost excruciating pain, she gets here so much in return. Or a butterfly that needs to do some trouble to break out of his doll. However, you may feel that you should go through some sort of struggle, but in reality this is not necessary at all. Why wouldn't you be able to do what you really want? Why don't you just go for it and make sure it works. 

In my opinion, many people are held in their place by perfectionism; The feeling that you should have something completely thought out or arranged. This will allow you to see the task as a huge mountain so that you do not make any steps at all. I think it is better to continue to make small (or big) steps, rather than making every step perfect. Because if We look at it honestly; When is something well perfect enough to run out of it? Yet this is not so black and white as it can sometimes be quite effective to pursue perfection. However, you should not forget that perfection is even more subjective, that this is different for everyone. If you are motivated in the top and want to get everything out of yourself, perfection can be a yardstick, in which you have to be aware of what effect this has on your progression. If I look at myself, I can mention some examples. For example, starting this website; I had little experience in shaping a website and I had never written a blog before. Some people say that I'm too young to start this way and that I need to know how to time my actions. In other words: Haven't you started too early, don't you need to develop it first? By simply starting with this, I have made myself aware that the very first thing that I am writing may not be of world level, but that I will grow up here during the process. When I look back at my first blogs I already see an unprecedented progress, which I could never have achieved if I could only start with it in a year. I wonder if you have not done something because you thought it might not succeed. What if you had done it and you were successful? I am not asking for a feeling of guilt, but they do not say for nothing: You better regret the things you did than what you did not do. 

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